F.A.I.L.

Today’s entry is a lesson in failure. All too often, people who fail tend to think they didn’t work hard enough. Or that they aren’t smart enough. Or capable enough. We live in a success-driven culture and--consciously or not--there is a certain amount of shame attached when we don’t succeed. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are. If we tried and we failed, then there must be something wrong with us.

And until recently, I bought into this idea. I’d berate myself every time I tried something new and it didn’t turn out perfectly the very first time. I couldn’t do <fill in the blank> because obviously I wasn’t smart enough. I’d become frustrated and get disappointed in my lack of ability.

When I was in grad school, I took a class titled Introduction to Bibliographic Metadata (aka “Cataloging”). Most of my librarian colleagues and fellow grad school folks warned me, “You’ll either understand it immediately, or you never will. There is no in between.” 

Wouldn’t you know it? I was in the “I don’t get it” crowd. I worked my tail off for that class and received mostly Ds and Cs, a rude awakening for someone whose current GPA was 3.94. And it didn’t help that I happened to be in a section where most of the other students “got it.” After a disastrous midterm I began to question my general intelligence and capabilities. 

I tend toward the melodramatic when I’m feeling down, and by the time I’d finished castigating myself I was pretty sure the only job I would ever be able to excel at was that of a ditch digger (no disrespect to ditch diggers). Maybe.

I took to Facebook in search of something to distract me from my impending “flunking out of grad school and taking up a shovel” future. And then, I saw it. The image that would change everything.

Leapin’ library books, Batman! All this time. I wasn’t failing. I was learning. No words can convey how radically this concept has changed my thinking. It was instantaneous. I realized first tries at something always go poorly and my second attempt would be better. My third attempt would be even better than that. Heck, by my fourth and fifth attempts I could very well be almost totally competent!

So next time you try something new, keep your mind open to F.A.I.L.ure. It’s not a stigma. It’s a badge of honor.

PS. That cataloging class? Squeaked out a low B by the skin of my teeth.