Other Duties As Assigned

Even the most detailed of job descriptions come with those magical words “and other duties as assigned” attached. My job is no different. I have done many things over the years that can only fall under that “other” category.

Years ago, my current library underwent an enormous reorganization in order to be able to remain in our existing building after our referendum for a new building failed to pass. At one point the entire main floor was under renovation and off limits. Our book drops were on this floor. We were downstairs. The elevator was inaccessible. So was the dumbwaiter. Which meant that about eleven other staff members and I ended up doing a bucket brigade of book-laden baskets from upstairs to down…while singing “Found a Peanut” and “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” at the top of our lungs in our concrete-and-metal fire escape stairwell. My hearing still hasn’t recovered.

I’ve built intricate card houses for our display windows. Don’t be impressed. I cheated outrageously. Sometimes tape is a girl’s best friend. It was either that or rebuild it every time someone banged the door on their way through the nearby public entrance.

I once went through 37 boxes of “donated” books that a very kind but very misinformed colleague had accepted for our sale cart on my behalf. Talk about an archeological dig. I found mouse poop, random photographs, many stains that ranged along a whole scale of stickiness, spider egg sacs, a check dated from over a decade ago, and an incredibly friendly live spider who darted across my hand and disappeared. God bless the person who invented rubber gloves.

Our library went through a phase of live frogs mysteriously appearing in our outdoor book drops. At the time, I was the youngest employee (besides our HS pages) by a good decade. Which meant I was the one limber enough to chase and eventually do a catch-and-release for the little amphibious invaders. In heels. And a skirt. With an audience of very interested ladies of a certain age.

I’ve even retrieved lost body parts. A man tripped coming up our entrance stairway and smacked his mouth on the top step, losing a tooth. Armed with a rubber glove, I found the AWOL tooth after about ten minutes of searching and in return endured the nickname “Tooth Fairy” from my colleagues for about six months.

My point here isn’t to expand on my resume. My point is that librarians always rise to the occasion even if they aren’t sure what the occasion actually entails. We’re so much more than materials and computer help and maker spaces and directions and programs and collection development and public interaction. No job description can contain us and no list of duties will ever truly communicate what we do. We are librarians and we do everything.